1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I decided it would be a great idea at age 2 or so to smack my mom's hot coffee onto the floor with my arm. Now I've got a faint, graham cracker-sized scar on the inside of my right arm.
[not sure where 2 and 3 went]
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Music that is awesome.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
To be lobotomized.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Misery. Wait a sec... okay... got it. Nothing.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION/S?
I know it sounds gay, but probably my life. And my hearing. (That's gonna be sweet to read after I'm diagnosed with Meniere's... ha!)
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Every once in awhile. Like when I get stuck hiking back to the car after the sun sets and I feel cougar eyes on me.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My dad.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE
Blood. HaHaaaa! Probably sandalwood. And Omnia by Bulgari is so delicious and heady I could eat it. Strong colognes on dudes make me wanna hurl.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Red. Albinos only, please.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO?
In an alternate universe.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Bitch, please. I'm Colombian. Juan Valdez all the way.
18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Perhaps my pride, but I'm not quite ready for it. Or anti-anxiety medication.
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
Dude. I was just born. I don't remember. Probably a blanket.
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
I dislike everyone and everything unless your name is Nicolas Cage and you've just portrayed Fu Manchu.
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No, because double-jointedness doesn't exist and if it did, it would be for gaylords.
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
For fantasy: Alexander McQueen. For real: I own a lot clothes from Banana Republic, Gap, and my favorite bands' merch tables.
25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
'73 Corvette Stingray or a modified hybrid shitty old truck. I know. Weird.
26. DO YOU HAVE A BONER RIGHT NOW
If I do, I guess I have a lot of people to notify about my "life change".
27. HOW BIG IS YOUR BONER?
n/a dudes
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
That's pretty circumstantial, no?
29. WHAT IS THE
By telling them, verbally and action-wise. And not acting like a huge douchebag when you're around them is probably a good idea, too.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
Death.
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Whitish. Again, albinos only, please.
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
Murder. Or my voicemail.
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Not getting the lobotomy I want. And food in the sink.
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S?
On more than one occasion to an array of European, North and South American countries.
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
I let people take advantage of my awesomeness and then fester with discontent. Wait, maybe that's your weakness: you take advantage of my awesomeness!!! Also, I love synthesizer.
40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I'm waiting to see if my nose gets bad. I'm okay with it now, but I'm afraid it will turn into my abuelita's, and that, friends, would not be a good thing. Sorry, abuela.
41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Like I said, it's the closest I could get to severing the nerves connecting my frontal lobes to my thalamus.
43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Continue to drink it. And move to another country because this one would clearly suck even more than it already does, and that shit just ain't worth stickin' out.
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY
Many, many things, most likely all of which I will not get, figuratively and/or literally.
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
No. Wishes are for suckers. Jiminy was full of piss and shit.
48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
What? Are you trying to ask if there's one I'd rather lose less than the others? Because in that case, they are all my favorites.
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Obsessing over stupid details. Usually in my mind. Sometimes I begin to finish people's sentences, but that's usually just because it's taking them too long to get it out.
53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
Oh, Jeebus. It depends on who's looking. It could be G. Love and the Special Sauce, then again, it could be Basia or one of several 311 albums.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS?
We would not just be friends, we would rule the universe.
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
In the world, of course. To me, usually in some way or another.
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
It can range from muttering really evil things to crying. Occasionally (and more often in my childhood), by screaming.
59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
Pretty much not at all. And when I do, somehow I always end up regretting it.
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Puff Puff, the stuffed dog and lots of action figures that usually ended up dismembered and/or hairless.
64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
Yes, at my first real concert, Soundgarden, age 14. That's right. I was a badass. Even then.
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
Good taste in music/film/art in general, appreciation for the oddities of life, ability to make me laugh, recognition of my need for independence and the fact that I am totally awesome and unlike no one else. Yes, I plan to be alone forever.
68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Very rarely.
72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORs?
Grey, blue, green, black. I'm also very partial to my old bedroom paint: "Deep Smoke Signal".
73. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
Those are two very different things. I'm not telling the ether of the internet "who" I miss. "What" I miss-- I miss feeling needed/sought after. I know. Gay. But living at least two states away from all of your friends will do that to you.
74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
None. They were all extracted very haphazardly in bloody, pulpy masses that took far too long to heal.
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Some travel shit about Cambodia (TV). And the jumble of bullshit flying through my mindhole.
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
"Her arm just got ripped off by a bear" is the best thing I've ever read, Parlance. Generally, his face. But it could also be his tennis shoes or his band t-shirt.
80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
"Murder By Numbers" by the Police. He's right, you know. It could be so easy.
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Haha. Thing or person?
82. FAVORITE DRINK(S)?
My favorite non-alcoholic beverage is probably water because it keeps me alive and makes it possible for me to do what I do (ie. sing for long periods of time). My favorite alcoholic beverages are Newcastle Brown Ale and expensive gins and tonic. Also, you can't really beat an ice-cold Triple C fresh out of the can.
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN
It's very clear that I am as Cancerian as they come, but I am extremely partial to my moon in Scorpio. Scorpios are vindictive, obsessed with death, and ruled by the genitals. Need I say more?
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Brün.
87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
When I don't have my contacts in and I'm not asleep.
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
TV: That shit about Cambodia. Film: The Namesake.
93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Generally, yes, but I've done it. With hilarious results.
95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Knives in the back.
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
The glorious relationship I have with myself and the hot one-night stand in my mind.
98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Every person I know whom I hold in any semblance of esteem.
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century by Barbara Tuchman. Yes, still. Bitch, it's long.
100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Probably not. Jesus, what a way to end a survey. "It's like a Phillips head into my brain..." Yeah, that.
4 comments:
Dude...are you alright? Some of that was expected, but some of it made me think you got kidnapped by Stunt-Man-Mike. Oh, and I had to look up lobotomy in the online dictionary.
-Jeff
Thanks for the concern, mein Brüder. Not the best of nights, but I'm okay.
Of course you had to look up lobotomy. Awesome.
Oh, and is it fucked up that I'm kinda turned on by Stunt-Man-Mike despite knowing he's a psychopath killer?
Dude, girls can totally have boners. Judging by your superior superlative speak (i.e. "that (blank) was the most awesome/best ever/mind melting...), you have them quite often. Oh, rock on, by the by.
I have to have my sensors on for my first boner. Paying attention... now. And yes, I tend to beat superlatives to death. They're like, totally the best ever.
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