I'm not the biggest Ferrell fan, but...

...this is kind of ridiculously funny once you get past the fact that they got a baby to scream and curse. Thanks to Joseph Paul for this one.

Well, shit.

No Lost tonight. It's gonna be a long six months, especially after that finale. Sonofabitch. Season 3: "The Unexplored Third Season" on DVD December 11.

Love

They should just replace all copies of this with the opening school scene from Donnie Darko

1. Chimpanzee
2. Uncle Joey on keys
3. Amish man, drum fill
4. Duckie + Igor = Roland Orzabal
5. Librarian's haircut
6. Single dangling earring
7. Curt gets the shaft... as usual

Han Solo in carbonite chocolate bar

geekologie.com

How I learned to wail.

Sometimes I think that onrushing the inevitable sounds appealing, but then I realize it's already been done for me. And why wouldn't I want to stick around to enjoy it, minus the finality of ceasing to exist?

Sometimes you just need a good facemelt.

The boys in the throes.
Are our faces melting yet? Yes, I believe so.
Jeff demonstrates the appropriate behavior for a metal concert.
The band. Killing us.
We continue to be slayed.
Destruction.
Troy, I want to have your babies.
Rock face.
Jeff toasts a Newc.
Ted toast.
Double-fisting. Okay, not really.
Brent and Troy rock.
Bill and his Explorer.

Dude. Mastodon was incredible. I think the show just may have landed in my top five mid- to large-size auditorium shows. They headlined, so we conveniently lost most of the emo-children who were there for the previous band as we were walking in. Brilliantly timed. It is unreal to me that Mastodon can keep such technically demanding, up-tempo, low-tuned songs together and in tune. Amazing. It's metal, but metal for geniuses. Which can only be a good thing. Brann Dailor is one of the sickest live drummers I have ever seen. These guys routinely use odd meters, harmonic and melodic minor scales, and crazy-ass-fast 16th notes. Hells yes. We were sufficiently blown away. Plus, how often do you get to hear songs with titles like "Colony of Birchmen" (my favorite), "Bladecatcher", and "Circle of Cysquatch" (that's one-eyed Sasquatches, in case you were wondering)? I mean, really. It's just incredible. An album about a dude who must journey through a mythical land in order to scale a mountain of blood. That's just... well, AWESOME. Their second album, Leviathan, is loosely based on Moby Dick. I LOVE THESE GUYS. Especially Troy Sanders. Holy hell.

No better way to clear one's head

than to go see MASTODON live. Tonight, the glories of metal shall assist me in scaling a mythical mountain of blood. And I can think of nothing better at this juncture in time.

I really do believe I may be clairvoyant.

That is all.

before we scream and descend, steady to the sun
a simple tale of woe, your hearts won't be undone
a love song to everyone i know
arms wide open, here we go
she weaves a trail of petals through the embryonic ice
her hair was warm to the touch and flowers twice as nice
and if he stands on the moon he can barely catch her eyes
always open to the sky
and so we land only to find we never left the ground
please leave the walls and the floors exactly as you found
a love song to everyone i know
arms wide open, here we go

Krauss by way of "Litvinoff"

"So many words get lost. They leave the mouth and lose their courage, wandering aimlessly until they are swept into the gutter like dead leaves. On rainy days you can hear their chorus rushing past: IwasabeautifulgirlPleasedon'tgoItoobelievemybodyismadeofglass-
I'veneverlovedanyoneIthinkofmyselfasfunnyForgiveme...
There was a time when it wasn't uncommon to use a piece of string to guide words that otherwise might falter on the way to their destinations. Shy people carried a little bundle of string in their pockets, but people considered loudmouths had no less need for it, since those used to being overheard by everyone were often at a loss for how to make themselves heard by someone. The physical distance between two people using a string was often small; sometimes the smaller the distance, the greater the need for the string.
The practice of attaching cups to the ends of the string came much later. Some say it is related to the irrepressible urge to press shells to our ears, to hear the still-surviving echo of the world's first expression. Others say it was started by a man who held the end of a string that was unraveled across the ocean by a girl who left for America.
When the world grew bigger, and there wasn't enough string to keep the things people wanted to say from disappearing into the vastness, the telephone was invented.
Sometimes no length of string is long enough to say the thing that needs to be said. In such cases all the string can do, in whatever its form, is conduct a person's silence."

-The History of Love

For the boys.

I agree with a hell of a lot of this. But where is Predator? Seriously....

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20036782_20037403_20037541,00.html

Because this is as close as I can get to a lobotomy, I'm lifting this from Parlance.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I decided it would be a great idea at age 2 or so to smack my mom's hot coffee onto the floor with my arm. Now I've got a faint, graham cracker-sized scar on the inside of my right arm.

[not sure where 2 and 3 went]

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Music that is awesome.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
To be lobotomized.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Misery. Wait a sec... okay... got it. Nothing.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION/S?
I know it sounds gay, but probably my life. And my hearing. (That's gonna be sweet to read after I'm diagnosed with Meniere's... ha!)

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Every once in awhile. Like when I get stuck hiking back to the car after the sun sets and I feel cougar eyes on me.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My dad.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Blood. HaHaaaa! Probably sandalwood. And Omnia by Bulgari is so delicious and heady I could eat it. Strong colognes on dudes make me wanna hurl.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Red. Albinos only, please.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO?
In an alternate universe.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Bitch, please. I'm Colombian. Juan Valdez all the way.

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Perhaps my pride, but I'm not quite ready for it. Or anti-anxiety medication.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
Dude. I was just born. I don't remember. Probably a blanket.

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
I dislike everyone and everything unless your name is Nicolas Cage and you've just portrayed Fu Manchu.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No, because double-jointedness doesn't exist and if it did, it would be for gaylords.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
For fantasy: Alexander McQueen. For real: I own a lot clothes from Banana Republic, Gap, and my favorite bands' merch tables.

25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
'73 Corvette Stingray or a modified hybrid shitty old truck. I know. Weird.

26. DO YOU HAVE A BONER RIGHT NOW
If I do, I guess I have a lot of people to notify about my "life change".

27. HOW BIG IS YOUR BONER?
n/a dudes

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
That's pretty circumstantial, no?

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
By telling them, verbally and action-wise. And not acting like a huge douchebag when you're around them is probably a good idea, too.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
Death.

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Whitish. Again, albinos only, please.

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
Murder. Or my voicemail.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Not getting the lobotomy I want. And food in the sink.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S?
On more than one occasion to an array of European, North and South American countries.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
I let people take advantage of my awesomeness and then fester with discontent. Wait, maybe that's your weakness: you take advantage of my awesomeness!!! Also, I love synthesizer.

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I'm waiting to see if my nose gets bad. I'm okay with it now, but I'm afraid it will turn into my abuelita's, and that, friends, would not be a good thing. Sorry, abuela.

41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Like I said, it's the closest I could get to severing the nerves connecting my frontal lobes to my thalamus.

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Continue to drink it. And move to another country because this one would clearly suck even more than it already does, and that shit just ain't worth stickin' out.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY
Many, many things, most likely all of which I will not get, figuratively and/or literally.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
No. Wishes are for suckers. Jiminy was full of piss and shit.

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
What? Are you trying to ask if there's one I'd rather lose less than the others? Because in that case, they are all my favorites.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Obsessing over stupid details. Usually in my mind. Sometimes I begin to finish people's sentences, but that's usually just because it's taking them too long to get it out.

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
Oh, Jeebus. It depends on who's looking. It could be G. Love and the Special Sauce, then again, it could be Basia or one of several 311 albums.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS?
We would not just be friends, we would rule the universe.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
In the world, of course. To me, usually in some way or another.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
It can range from muttering really evil things to crying. Occasionally (and more often in my childhood), by screaming.

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
Pretty much not at all. And when I do, somehow I always end up regretting it.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Puff Puff, the stuffed dog and lots of action figures that usually ended up dismembered and/or hairless.

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
Yes, at my first real concert, Soundgarden, age 14. That's right. I was a badass. Even then.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
Good taste in music/film/art in general, appreciation for the oddities of life, ability to make me laugh, recognition of my need for independence and the fact that I am totally awesome and unlike no one else. Yes, I plan to be alone forever.

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Very rarely.

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORs?
Grey, blue, green, black. I'm also very partial to my old bedroom paint: "Deep Smoke Signal".

73. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
Those are two very different things. I'm not telling the ether of the internet "who" I miss. "What" I miss-- I miss feeling needed/sought after. I know. Gay. But living at least two states away from all of your friends will do that to you.

74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
None. They were all extracted very haphazardly in bloody, pulpy masses that took far too long to heal.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Some travel shit about Cambodia (TV). And the jumble of bullshit flying through my mindhole.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
"Her arm just got ripped off by a bear" is the best thing I've ever read, Parlance. Generally, his face. But it could also be his tennis shoes or his band t-shirt.

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
"Murder By Numbers" by the Police. He's right, you know. It could be so easy.

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Haha. Thing or person?

82. FAVORITE DRINK(S)?
My favorite non-alcoholic beverage is probably water because it keeps me alive and makes it possible for me to do what I do (ie. sing for long periods of time). My favorite alcoholic beverages are Newcastle Brown Ale and expensive gins and tonic. Also, you can't really beat an ice-cold Triple C fresh out of the can.

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN
It's very clear that I am as Cancerian as they come, but I am extremely partial to my moon in Scorpio. Scorpios are vindictive, obsessed with death, and ruled by the genitals. Need I say more?

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Brün.

87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
When I don't have my contacts in and I'm not asleep.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
TV: That shit about Cambodia. Film: The Namesake.

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Generally, yes, but I've done it. With hilarious results.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Knives in the back.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
The glorious relationship I have with myself and the hot one-night stand in my mind.

98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Every person I know whom I hold in any semblance of esteem.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century by Barbara Tuchman. Yes, still. Bitch, it's long.

100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Probably not. Jesus, what a way to end a survey. "It's like a Phillips head into my brain..." Yeah, that.

Roger Daltrey, your dramatic punctuation is golden.

I don't think I've posted this yet. Sent it to many, many people, yes. But not posted it. So it must be done. "Yaaaaaaaooooooooooo!!!!!!"